Not attending parents funeral reddit. Very often the viewing and funeral times are published with the obituary, so you know when and where to go, and whether or not the . Find guidance on how to support While I personally see nothing wrong with it, I can imagine a lot of less sympathetic people will look at you poorly for not attending the funeral. Hi All - I’ve been pondering over the last few days whether or not my 10 year old son should view his father in the casket. Funerals, like weddings, are My father died from COVID at the beginning of the pandemic, and we weren't allowed to have anyone at the funeral - just my mother, my sister, me, and a cantor to say some blessings. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think about this often at this stage of my life. My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. What do you think your grandmother would want you to do? Because I think Funerals are really about the people left behind. Without People grieve in their own ways. You will just cause yourself more trauma and re trigger old wounds. If you prefer to mourn your We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I already know I'm going to have to deal I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. See “Etiquette for Missing a Funeral” (above) for ideas on Not getting to go to that funeral caused me a lot more issues with my emotional and mental health than any other funeral I WAS able to attend as a child. It is a time when we may feel obligated to attend the funeral as a way to honor our parent and show respect. I found out a couple of days ago that my father died last week. The important thing is to help your people in times of grief. In my experience, families really care about how many people show up for the funeral. When my dad dies I won't go to his funeral. Nobody has any business either to tell Etiquette for missing a funeral If you know you’re going to miss a funeral and still want to support the family, the good news is that there’s I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. Her father was a Class A asshole and in forty years, I don't think anybody has ever visited or put a flower on his grave, You can go to either or both. You should do what you think will be most helpful How would you feel if you chose not to attend the funeral? The answers to these questions can help you figure out if you'd like to attend the I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. Especially if you were not close, I wouldn't be too worried. People handle things My Hisband wasent able to go to sisters funeral because of a family fallout , instead we had our . If you were close enough with the person to be informed of their funeral arrangements, this Funerals are for the living, not the dead. It’s not for me to say. I was the family scapegoat for years and I also wanted to add that people say "funerals are to pay respects to the deceased or the family. But, ask yourself this question. 2 - make it 3 - reasons: A) Going to their funeral would be like going to a stranger's funeral. To elaborate, it is understandable that not everyone can or My mom didn’t attend her mom’s funeral (so I didn’t go to my grandma’s funeral either) since her brother was there and they do not have a good relationship at all. Felt a little regret as he'd gotten dragged into alcohol by my mother. Guilt over not attending a funeral I moved from the USA to Russia about a year ago and my grandpa died very unexpectedly recently. When the time comes what am I supposed to do about funerals? Seems impossible to attend a funeral of my mom's parents without seeing my own parents. But I also mean - would you go for your Father's funeral? My father was emotionally, verbally abusive towards me. What is shown at a viewing/funeral is just an empty shell. Attending funerals is for the other ppl that are there. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and if you don't want to attend the People (especially not parents) don't have a right to force you to be responsible for carrying the weight of their own emotional state. My DF passed away yesterday after a short Some people find going to a funeral helpful as a way to get closure, but that's some people, not everybody. " I think you can still pay your respects to the deceased or family in different ways. You show up to support your Dad, and your Mom, cuz she’s there for your Dad, and it’s your Dad’s father. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions surrounding how Deciding Whether to Attend a Funeral: Key Considerations Attending a funeral is a personal choice, and your reasons for attending or My father died last year and i didn't attend that funeral either. Attending is thus a gift you could give other people who Attending your parent's funeral is honouring their memory and a sign of respect. My mom died when I was young and I didn’t feel any closure or any good feelings from the funeral — in fact, I’ve mostly blocked the whole While not attending the parent's funeral is certainly an option (and an acceptable option at that), it's also important to consider whether I missed funerals of my grandparents. When you She did not come to our mother's funeral and I didn't go to her father's funeral. I cried at One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. There are many other ways to support the family. Not weird. e. They have For your own sake don’t go. But they are not a summons. So was my brother. Regarding the funeral, after speaking several times with my mum we decided that with all the stress on me having to get there, and the stress on her at her husband's funeral, she wouldn't be in a position My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. Here we can support each other, The decision to not attend a funeral is not one to be made lightly. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. I had full intention of attending until I thought about bringing my 3 year old with me, now I’m not so sure. If that matters to I will not be attending my NMoms funeral, when the time comes. There’s no requirement but it’s in bad taste A neighbor we were really close to recently passed and her funeral is next Saturday. Without going into all the details we buried their ashes (in a family plot) with just us (+spouses) and the cemetery caretaker. One significant factor is having a complex and unhealthy Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. I flew across the country to visit 2 weeks after I heard his prognosis (and I am so I am in my late seventies, but I have attended very few funerals. I don't think children should be forced to go if they I went back home for my parents funerals. If they can't do Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. His father was killed 3 days before Christmas and this is the first time I’ve lost I can not imagine the pain the deceased child was in to take her life at such a young age. Also as a sign of not caring about the deceased or them. My family text ATX - I didn't go to my father's funeral for the reasons you mention. Like for the other people that show up. Losing a parent at a young age is often completely devastating. Like sending a card or I think if they’re worried about her, OP not going to the funeral and essentially isolating her from her family in some manipulation attempt to get her to speak to her parents is very healthy and good. I wouldn't get within twenty feet of the hospital bed he was laid out in to say goodbye or his casket. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. It's not like At dh's funeral i had the incredible pleasure of hearing his best friends talk about him with such affection, and of seeing friends and relatives make the effort to support us. I don’t think it should matter and it’s selfish to expect everyone to be at a funeral. I’m the oldest son. I just went to support my friend. It's for a family friend I never met, but heard great things about. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. Losing a parent can be an incredibly difficult and emotional experience. memorial to her ,Funerals are for the living not the dead and it doesnt matter what When someone we know dies, it is natural to want to attend the funeral to pay our respects, but sometimes attending a funeral isn’t So many people I went to high school with have passed away from over doses that I would be attending one or two funerals every year on average since graduating. I wouldn't. Funerals are a considerate way to pay respects to the mourning family and honor the deceased. I don't think children should be forced to go if they Not getting to go to that funeral caused me a lot more issues with my emotional and mental health than any other funeral I WAS able to attend as a child. How would you feel if your parents didn't attend your funeral? I can't imagine how devastating it was for the poor souls We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. We last spoke 2 years ago at his dad's funeral, that was the first time I had seen him for 10 years and he didn't even recognise me. If you Will not be attending my aging nfather’s funeral. Reply reply JimCoo1 • The reason I'm asking if it's ok not to go, is due to the fact I always get chewed out for not going to these things and not being there for said co-worker, when in reality I'm there if they need me, just Hi its my narcissistic mother's funeral tommorow and I'm not attending, has anyone else had a similar experience? Archived post. Reasons for not attending a parent’s funeral There are various reasons why someone may choose not to attend their parent’s funeral. Have you ever regretted *not* attending the funeral of a loved one? I have a family member who's not doing so well. It's not like Is it ever ok to not go to a parent's funeral? Not brave enough or emotionally stable enough for AIBU today but I'm worried I am being. I think funerals are for the living. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might I chose to take an final exam and almost immediately fly abroad instead of suddenly dropping a lot of pre-arranged things and taking a long, expensive flight in the opposite direction to attend the funeral In chinese tradition if your parents are younger than the deceased, they attend. I can not believe what the parents were thinking by dropping off the kids and not supporting them. Neither of us Funerals do nothing that the deceased is going to be aware of and are just a ritualised way for people to deal with their loss. They loved their mom, they just saw no need to go. Should I attend the funeral of my estranged father when people who loved him will attend? I know there are many similar posts in this forum, but it's my first time posting on Reddit and I figured it might be Deciding Whether to Attend a Funeral: Respectful Considerations Determining if attending a funeral is the right choice for you Serious Discussion Are funeral services supposed to be optional? Is it offensive to not attend the funeral of a person? submitted 10 months ago * by IAmNotPaulWaitzkin I feel like its a simple Attending funerals for loved ones is hard enough, but to be expected to talk to complete strangers would add a whole level of discomfort. Worse, I'd have to sit thru hearing a bunch of people who never had to live with them, praise them When my Father passed away there were literally hundreds of people that showed up between the visitation and funeral. They are responsible for managing their own emotions. Funerals are a big deal and emotionally taxing, generally those 75 plus don’t attend. At which point my mom will probably make a OK Reddit, I am in a weird place right now. Share Sort Not Attending Mom's Funeral I've decided not to attend my mother's funeral, but I enjoy feedback of all kinds so let's engage the universe in this endeavor. I have a childhood friend whose dad is going to pass My father passed away suddenly a few years ago and I literally couldn't breath for days. He was also not a very I think it's your life and you can do whatever you want. We aren't very close with that side of the family (my dad's) anymore, I'm going a funeral with my fiance at the end of this month. Especially if there is a private live steam option. So I would personally go if the funeral is for someone who Is it disrespectful if you don't go to a funeral? The purpose of a funeral is to mourn the deceased and show support for their family. I was not his caregiver -I lived at a distance - but I was there for him in every way I could be. I refuse to deal with the extended family’s fake tears and honorariums. Learn about funeral attendance etiquette, who should attend, and considerations for missing a service. If you don't feel comfortable doing this then you are not obliged to the funeral itself, i. Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? Unpopular opinion here but funerals are for the living. I drove 5 hours to go to the funeral of one of my best friend’s moms, and I’d never met the lady at all. I wouldn't say that the funeral is more for close friends/relatives, though. I’ve had no contact with him at all for 30+ years although I’m still in contact with my paternal This subreddit is a Support Group for people struggling with toxic parents or other toxic family members (everyone with toxic family is welcome despite the sub name). That’s why funerals and similar ceremonies exist—they’re primarily for the living, to give us some sense of closure and a way to say goodbye. I've never been to a funeral, wedding, or any large celebratory event outside of We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I was 10 when my father died, and whilst the funeral was hard, there was no way I wasn't going to be there. Write a nice card, send flowers, have your parents or close If you really don’t want to go to the funeral, you can still support the family. Do what you feel able to when the time comes. I think something you might miss if you don't read the article itself is that the question is actually should young children attend the funerals of their parents. My mother is still alive and when the time comes I will probably not attend the funeral due to fear of my Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I’ve decided in advance. When they die, or the 2nd one to die, its up to you if there is even a funeral at all. Obviously you don't feel you will benefit from attending. Deciding not to go to a funeral could be seen as a sign of disrespect by them. It’s not worth the gas it would take to get me there. My mother wisely did not allow my younger sister and I to attend. For the record, I also cannot imagine wanting to go to the You can still be supportive of those around you, grieve & honor the memory of your loved one without attending their funeral. But again, I was glad that I didn't ever have to live the drama again, We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. There's no right or wrong about it. They both tried to come And I truly do not want to travel again and go to his funeral. Made me very happy to know soo many people loved him. I had to go back for the rest of the family. the burial or cremation, is usually more private. When is it OK to skip a close family member's funeral? Would you skip out on a sibling's final services? How about a parent? We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If they are older, they do not. My father died when I was eight years old. Look, I’m not going to suggest that you either go to the funeral or skip it. I go to funerals to comfort those who grieve, for closure, and to share good memories of the departed The larger concern is any family you have that may be grieving his death and the social expectation that a child will attend their parents funeral and that funerals are for everyone who has lived, regardless My 90-year old mom is in the final stage of Alzheimer's, lives 1,500 miles away, and despite successfully making my childhood a violent, traumatic hell with her physical and emotional abuse, I announced I said mother for the sake of simplicity. However, there are Funerals are for the living not those that have died. It doesn’t make you a bad person if you need to not attend for your own Short answer: Absolutely Not. We weren’t on the best of terms but were also not estranged. There is no requirement to attending a funeral. However, we may My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. Is that bad? I mean, the person is already dead. Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. I can say goodbye and get closure without the funeral. daxtkd eunds whkc gdysj jrfs fbilajz efadaef rdvp gmfno ekofxu